fleet·ing, adj.
passing swiftly; vanishing quickly; transient; transitory:

I’m 55. I used to think that was really, really old, like back when I was a teenager. Now I look back and think, wow. Here I am-old. The people that I thought were old, like my mom, are now really, really, really old.

It’s all relative, isn’t it. I guess when you are 5 or 6 you might think that a teenager is old. I don’t know; I’m too old to remember.

I have a lot of favorite verses in God’s Word.  They are an enduring encouragement to me.

In Isaiah 40:8 and 1 Peter 1:24-25, we see this:

“The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever.”

I think that is what I’d like this written on my tombstone. I will live forever based on the promises in God’s Word. But my body will wither and fall. I want anyone seeing my tombstone to know what is important and what is not.

I’m tired. My constant pain is very much like a thorn in the flesh to me.  I have to live life in spite of it. (I couldn’t begin to express how difficult it is to do so.) I really want to go home to Heaven. It is certainly better by far.

Even though I have constant pain I also have God’s enduring grace. It empowers me to take the next step even while in pain. Without God’s grace, there would be no power and no hope. Praise God for His moment by moment provision!

Maranatha! Lord Jesus, come!

Here are the video editing software applications that I use. I’ve never used imovie so I can’t compare what I have with it. But I have tried numerous other packages on a trial basis. Too many! Most are quite horrible. But I can vouch for these:

#1 In spite of some PAST negative comments that OTHERS have made about their software, one of the very best software packages for the PC is Pinnacle Systems Studio 12 Ultimate.  It can open just about anything I’ve thrown at it, can edit it, and can write it out in just about any format that most people will use. The learning curve is steeper than typing an email, of course. But read the manual, take some time with it, and you will find a plethora of features that you might expect on high-end video editing software. Take note that Pinnacle Systems develops high-end software so you are getting consumer grade (cost) software from a company that knows professional grade software. I say that it is the best for serious projects, hands down.

#2 For the fastest “slam it out” editing software that would be Womble MPEG Video Wizard.  I wish that I could say they were #1. I would except for the fact that Studio 12 Ultimate offers better control, more features, just more and better. But MPEG Video Wizard is fast, real fast. I use it every day whereas I only use Studio 12 maybe once a month. I use Studio 12 for the wedding video, but I use MPEG Video Wizard to edit the commercials (and graphic gore) out of, say, maybe an episode of Numbers.

So you might need both products. Or just one depending on what you want to do. You can make “wedding” quality videos using MPEG Video Wizard but there will be limitations. You can edit quickly using Studio 12 but not nearly as quickly as MPEG Video Wizard.

Both products allow you to turn your still photos into exciting videos with eye-popping effects. Put away your PowerPoint presentations! The difference is stunning. But again, for that really special video of grandma’s 80th birthday you would be better off with Studio 12.

Honorable mention:  There is another product that compares with Womble’s MPEG Video Wizard, that is VideoReDo. They claim to be the fastest. I suppose that depends on how you measure things. I’ve always thought that Womble’s MPEG Video Wizard is the fastest for exactly the same reasons that VideoReDo claim. They are both extremly fast because there is no decoding/encoding during the file creation process. They are both as fast as your hard drives, as fast as a file copy. There can’t be any faster process than that. If I didn’t already have Womble’s MPEG Video Wizard I would consider VideoReDo. I don’t know that it is any better; I would try both. But I really like Womble’s MPEG Video Wizard and I’m not going to switch now.

Side note: I just love the photo on the VideoReDo website of the dad and son watching a video. The son sees something that astonishes him and the dad is also reacting in horror at what his son is seeing. Probably a commercial during a Whinny the Pooh movie. (I say that because there are some pretty horrible, graphic commercials that play during good movies, Sound of Music, etc., that you would think SOMEONE would recognize is a bad mix. Or maybe they do it on purpose.)

Side note 2: To any of my friends who read this, there are more important things on my mind to write about but I want to be thorough and accurate about those important things. That takes time and clear thinking. I don’t seem to have either these days. But this subject was on my mind and now that I’ve written about it I can go on to those more important things.

Thanks for listening.
Ed

I might have missed some other sources and I probably have the order wrong, but I came up with this list 1st thing as I woke up this morning when my thinking is usually clearer than the rest of the day.

Sources of Water that Add Humidity to a House:

9. furniture, walls, all house - it wicks up humidity from air and then wicks it back to air - works as temporary storage of water
8. plants
7. “bowls” of water such as the toilet, the dirt in a potted plants, a glass of water..
6. doing laundry
5. from outdoors when weather permits
4. people - they eat, drink, and then breathe and sweat it back out
3. taking showers
2. cooking
1. Humidifier!

(Thanks, Josh, for adding #1!)

..

I found a website that I’m enjoying:

 No Other Rock

I apologize for not being very clear in my last journal entry. I do not purport that I have all the answers. That would be preposterous. This is my journal, an expression of my personal thoughts that I am willing to share with the world. Please allow me to clarify what I was trying to say.

“I tend to live in that part of the brain which is governed by logic.”

Primary focus of the “All the Answers” journal entries:

Logic, more than almost anything else, defines how I look at things and react to things. This journal entry is about how I see my faith and live my “religion” in the light of my logic.

A personal observation that others may (or may not) test as is their preference (or belief):

What I have personally found is that  standpoint of logic Christianity makes sense to me when other religions do not. Let me qualify that a little bit. Judaism makes sense because it points ahead to the Messiah which was revealed in Jesus Christ. There is no other religion that passes the test of logic. And I will add that atheism, too, does not pass the test of logic.

I am happy to acknowledge that others have faith in other religions and that they believe their religion “makes sense” to them. I will also acknowledge that Christianity is not without paradox and ambiguity. What I am saying is that to me Christianity passes tests of logic whereas other religions which I have studied do not. Some religions are quite absurd, others are very complex yet still show their fault; only Christianity makes sense to me.

Who am I?  I am Ed Rodatus. Perhaps I’m not very celebrated. But I am one man, at least somewhat knowledgeable and articulate, and I believe in the account of God as revealed in the Bible, English Standard Version if I must pick one. (I read as many as 8 versions and I appreciate them all.)

Where do I find “All the Answers”? I find the answer to things about life in God’s Word. If I need help with the syntax of a PHP command then I might go to php.net or w3schools.com. But to the really important things, things about life, love, relationships, and so much more, it is only God’s Word which satisfy my queries. My logic most often confirms but sometimes my logic is flawled. I believe that perfect logic will always confirm God’s Word. But even where my own (sometimes flawed) logic fails me my faith is able to take over and I’m not disappointed. It is God’s perfect Word which perfects my logic.

I’ve got to work on better titles for my journal entries.

I am, of course, not without feelings. That is to say I’m human. But I tend to live in that part of the brain which is governed by logic.

I can’t remember how old I was at the time this when transistors were still in tin cans. I was very young but my dad introduced me to transistor to transistor (TTL). He drew out the schematic for AND gates, OR gates, NOT gates, and the like. I built these logic gates out of individual transistors. And I tested out the circuits using manual switches for the input and little light bulbs for the output. I was hooked on logic.

With difficulty I can sometimes acknowledge feelings whether they are my own or someone else’s. But it is usually with ease that I evaluate the logic of any given situation. I live in logic.

My born-again experience transcends both feelings and logic. I think I’ve already shared my testimony elsewhere in my journal. Although I will assert that my faith is followed by logic that by no means should be taken that I ignore logic.

Logic, more than almost anything else, defines how I look at things and react to things. This journal entry is about how I see my faith and live my “religion” in the light of my logic.

I like the premise of books such as The Case for Christ. Although I haven’t read that one I’ve read others like it. I enjoy hearing speakers like Ravi Zacharias, one of my most favorite, and his radio program Let My People Think. Although I don’t remember it very well anymore I’ve read Tim LaHaye’s The Battle for the Mind and other books along this line.

What I have personally found is that  standpoint of logic Christianity makes sense to me when other religions do not. Let me qualify that a little bit. Judaism makes sense because it points ahead to the Messiah which was revealed in Jesus Christ. There is no other religion that passes the test of logic. And I will add that atheism, too, does not pass the test of logic.

After starting such a journal entry it seems a shame that I cannot finish it. But here it is, 1:20 AM in the morning, and I can barely keep my eyes open.

I hope to write more on this later.

3W CREE LED Flashlight review:

Flashlights are important to me because of my disability. I use them every night. Since my feet can’t feel properly to help me balance I use other information to help me. My most important help comes from either using a cane or some other thing (wall, handrail, someone’s shoulder). But I also need to be able to see. When there are shadows throwing off my vision especially in unstable environments such as anywhere other than my own home then the likelihood of my falling down can be quite high. Even a cane only helps me as much as I am able to see my environment.

The absolute best place to get a good flashlight is from LED Wholesalers.com and my favorite flashlight is this one.

It uses either a CR123A -OR- 2 AA batteries.

I have tested this flashlight using two rechargeable AA batteries. It maintained full brightness about 3.5 hours.  Using a single rechargeable CR123A (RCR123A) lasted exactly 45 minutes.

Using the RCR123A after about 20 minutes the flashlight became very hot. It didn’t bother me using the AA batteries. But using the single RCR123A it became almost too hot to hold. That really doesn’t bother me because I only use a flashlight in short spurts, just long enough to transport from here to there. I suppose if I was looking for something using the flashlight then I would be better off using 2 AA batteries. I suppose the heat is distributed better with 2 AA’s than with one RCR123A.

I am often reminded of certain instances when we discovered I had cancer.

On the one hand Georgia and I were overwhelmed. Our world was turned upside down. Normal life came to a grinding stop as we were thrust into an entirely new dimension managing my health issues. Words are not enough for me to describe all that occurred during the first few years of our fighting cancer. My youngest son was five years old at the time. In a way he lost both his dad and his mom because we were both called into battle. He, too, was overwhelmed. The battle seemed more than any of us could handle.

But throughout the insanity of our battle with cancer there was another aspect to it which gave us stability, hope and strength. This other aspect wasn’t new to us except that its intensity, efficacy, and preciseness came at a level previously unknown to us. Our insane, overwhelming world of cancer was corrected and controlled by simple acts of kindness given us by unexpected and sometimes unusual sources.

Even at the time it was evident that these acts of kindness, although preformed by the hands of people, had their source and inspiration in the heart of God Himself. There were doctors, chemotherapy treatments, and other instruments of healing that were certainly all part of God’s plan. But in addition to the practical and “indicated” courses of action for my health care were numerous acts of kindness. They were not practical. They were without explanation. Their importance cannot be measured. They were a gift from God.

Medical science has come a long way. The processes for bone marrow transplants are well defined. The prognosis for a positive outcome was very good. However Georgia and I had experienced a roller coaster of hopes dashed. From the first time I became ill, six months and numerous doctors with wrong diagnoses, the eventual diagnosis of cancer, months of chemo only to find out it didn’t kill all my cancer, and now a bone marrow transplant, we have become leery if not cynical. Medical science had let us down too many times to trust it now.

Georgia was understandably discouraged. I was in a hospital bed at Johns Hopkins Hospital, extremely weak, in intense pain, and feeling like I wasn’t going to make it. She had been with me all morning and needed to take care of her own needs. She needed to connect with God in a meaningful way. As I slept with morphine pumped directly into my bloodstream she took the opportunity to find a “lonely place to pray.” She went to the hospital cafeteria, got some tea or soup or something, and found a quiet corner with empty tables where she could sit down by herself.

Another lady came all the way over to Georgia’s quiet corner and with other empty tables in the area this bold woman sat right down across from Georgia. Georgia wanted nothing more than to be alone and connect with God. And this lady disrupted everything. But wait!

I’m afraid I don’t remember the details of this account. But I do know is that this lady ended up to be a Messianic Jew who loved the Lord Jesus Christ and wanted to show kindness to Georgia. The woman talked with Georgia, encouraged Georgia, and, I think, prayed with Georgia. (I said that I don’t remember the details.) Her act of kindness guided Georgia into a meaningful connection with God. We don’t know her name. There is no possibility of my thanking her. But I can (and do) praise God for her involvement in our life during a time of great need.

This is just one example of numerous such instances that occurred not only during the heat of our battle but during my entire life. The older I get the more I understand the miracle of it all. Leo Tolstoy got it right in his most popular of stories. At the end of it he quotes, “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25). Read the entire story here at http://thriceholy.net/Texts/Tolstoy.html .

I could never go back, find the woman who encouraged Georgia, and thank her for her kindness. There are thousands perhaps even millions of such instances of selfless love, simple acts of kindness, from the hand of God (not the goodness of man). It is impossible to thank even one of these people and how much more–I can’t even imagine that I could thank all of them. But I can praise God continually and acknowledge Him as the true source even if occasionally at the hands of unbelievers.

Please consider what you can do today to be kind, selflessly love those in your own home or even a stranger. Be a part of God’s miracle in someone else’s life today. I believe this is what it means to offer your body as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1). Romans 12 tells us “love must be sincere”, “be devoted to one another in brotherly love”, “Practice hospitality.” and “Share with God’s people who are in need.”  Our love and worship of God includes such service, such acts of kindness. God is glorified.

I’ve identified five types of “lightning bolt” pain that I experience. Except for the last one these “lightning bolts” only last for a split second which I feel in entire body. I’ve never been hit by lightning so I can’t really compare my pain with a true lightning bolt experience. But I have been shocked by the tens of thousands of volts from an ignition coil.

1. Unexpected sharp sounds cause pain like a lightning bolt throughout my body. I physically jump. I have absolutely no control over it. If I’m sitting in a quiet room and somebody drops a pan or even something smaller in the adjoining kitchen I will jump with pain.

2. Any kind of touch on my hands or feet will cause pain. The odd thing is that I can touch you and experience a small amount of pain but if you touch me I will feel a large amount of pain. And if that touch is unexpected then the pain is a whole body lightning bolt.

3. The memory of pain will usually cause a lightning bolt of pain. In other words if someone unexpectedly touched my hand or foot causing a lightning bolt of pain then if that memory comes to mind I will experience a similar lightning bolt of pain. This can be a day or even a week later. Odd, isn’t it?

4. Idiopathic lightning bolts of pain will sometimes occur. (I really just wanted to use the word idiopathic.) Seriously though I do get lightning bolts of pain for absolutely no reason at all. I’ll just be sitting there and then “kaboom!” I just got hit by lightning! I really don’t know this but sometimes I wonder if it’s something going on in my unconscious mind that brings about those random lightning bolts. Or maybe it’s something else.

5. This last one isn’t exactly a lightning bolt and doesn’t really affect my whole body like the other four times listed above. But it seemed important at included in this list because like a lightning bolt it lasts for only a fraction of a second. Well, usually. What will happen unexpectedly and idiopathicly (is that a word?) I feel like a sharp knife is jabbed straight into the top of my toe. I’ve never had that happen in real life so again this is only a perception. But it’s a very painful perception. Usually for only a fraction of a second a knife is thrust into the top of my toe and it really, really hurts. Only rarely does that pain linger for only a couple of seconds. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! When it lasts for a fraction of a second the offended foot will jump and by the time it jumps the pain is gone. But when it lingers, ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

I have several of these “lightning bolts” every day. Although they are painful they usually not a significant problem.

The more significant problem that I have is the constant pain which is accumulative. It adversely affects everything in my life. I am totally disabled because of it. Maybe I’ll describe that pain in another journal entry. But these lightning bolts have been on my mind and I wanted to document what I know about them.

I’ve been disabled for 7 1/2 years now, since the beginning of 2001. What a ride! I’ve learned a lot about myself and about life during these years. It’s very difficult to communicate what I’ve learned to someone who has not endured disability from chronic pain. I’d like to try to briefly explain something which I feel could help anyone even if they are not disabled. It might not be earth shattering to most of you but perhaps it may encourage someone.

Whenever I’m faced with a frustrating limitation arising from my disability I have three goals in mind.

Initially I want to cope with the limitation realizing that no amount of anger or complaining will change it. The reality is that I can’t walk more than a few feet before my pain demands that I get off my feet. I accept that through my trial God will work His perfect will. And because of that I can “consider it pure joy.” (James 1) But I also recognize that Jesus “endured the cross despising it’s shame” (Hebrews 12) and I won’t do anything differently. The pain is horrible but what I’ve gained, what I’ve learned is of great value.

Eventually I could learn to compensate for my limitations. It doesn’t remove them. No, I still experience pain when I walk. But using various techniques physical, mental, and technical I have learned to get where I’m going in spite of my pain. Of the places that I want to go it appears that there are few limitations. However my techniques to compensate require effort and there are still some limitations. Yet the extent of my excursions surprise me.

Ultimately I want to conquer the limitations of my disability. Even now I am using voice recognition software to write this journal entry. Typing is too difficult, really, too painful especially late at night when all the pain of the day is multiplied in my feet and hands. I wouldn’t want to type at all using my hands. I still have a lot to learn about dictation. It is a great mental effort to formulate a complete sentence of written quality and then try to speak at with sufficient articulation so that the software can get it right.

The difference between compensating and conquering my limitations is this: compensating extends my abilities beyond my limitations such that I can do the things which I need to do. Conquering removes my limitations. When my method (or methods) of compensating for my limitations essentially makes me equal to someone who’s not disabled then I consider it conquered.

To elaborate: I can get to almost any place I need to using one of my wheelchairs. But I still can’t go hiking to Rattlesnake Rock unless someone carries me on their back which I’m unwilling to allow. However using voice recognition software allows me to “type” as well as someone who types using their hands. There is little or no difference. Using this tool more than compensates, it conquers the disability.

I must add that there are other factors to coping, compensating, and conquering a disability. It involves the mind, will, and I believe even one’s emotions. I must also add that there is a spiritual aspect to all of this.

If my mind, will, and emotions were not fixed on coping, compensating, and conquering my limitations then I don’t think the results would be as good as they are. I also believe that if I did not have faith and depend on God for strength then there would be no success. I would go so far as to say this is the number one most important factor of all.

As I grow older I see more and more how it is God Who is the reason for all the things in my life which have been a success. People often comment on how well I raised my children. Oh my! Although I was never abusive I can’t say that I was such a great dad. God led me every step of the way. Although we’ve never gone bankrupt financially I’ve been a real idiot. I’m still amazed that we make it week to week and year to year.

I could recount every area of my life and how God was the architect of everything good.

Part of me is very, very tired and really wants to go home, that is, to Heaven. But there is another part of me that looks forward to seeing my two teens as they become men, watching my grandchild (and eventually grandchildren) grow up, and enjoying the wife of my youth. There is still a lot in this world that I appreciate and enjoy.

And while I’m in this world I will initially cope, eventually compensate, and ultimately conquer all that tries to stop me from appreciating and enjoying life. I sometimes say, “I’m not 6 feet under.” In other words, I’m going to live life-I’m going to enjoy life. And I’m going to do so in spite of my pain, in spite of my limitations, in spite of everything that is against me.

Alive in Christ, now and forever,
Ed